On April 4, 2006 a little black and tan creature entered this world. He didn’t know it at the time but he would become an amazing dog to a grateful guy in need.
I was lucky enough to be raised around hunting dogs my entire life. We always had one or two English Setter curled by the fire. I never knew the quiet and emptiness of a house without, till I moved to college. The early memories of those white and tan/blue critters will be forever burned in my brain. The conversations, the adventures and the amazing time spent in the woods is ingrained in me, part of my soul.
Fast forward to post college; bought my first house, moved to a new town, started a new job…ect. ect. ect. And I found myself in a house without a dog and felt the emptiness that brings. I knew I wanted something a little different than a English Setter, not because of dislike but more my love of things that are a little different. Setters in general are rare, but Gordon Setters are the least know of the three. Everyone knows an Irish Setter (the beautiful red setters), some people know the English (the most hunted setter) and then even fewer know the Gordon Setter (the Black and tan). All things considered I fell in love with the Gordons, the black, normally a little bigger, less high energy, so on.
After bringing it up with my parents and doing my research I found a kennel (that is no longer, maybe a good thing, maybe not) in Missouri that had a litter of Gordon Setter. The parents looked good and the owner promised hunting blood lines. We made the trip down and stayed overnight in a hotel right next to a prison – which is a entirely different story but all went well even though I couldn’t sleep much the night before picking him up. The next day we drove down to the kennel and the very odd owner showed us Briar. Because I was the last one to speak for a male in the litter, I didn’t get a choice in puppies and that was OK with me. He was the smallest male but I loved him from first sight. We had a long drive ahead of us so we got Briar settled in the truck and took off. The drive was great, you hear horror stories about puppies crying, peeing and pooping all the way home. It was an eight hour drive home and we only made one emergency stop for a pee break. We had a lot of time to bond and snuggle.
Once home, it was straight into puppy training. I had read a couple books and seen my parents train multiple dogs growing up. Briar was a joy to train, he picked up on everything I threw at him. The one struggle was him going to the bathroom in his kennel (he had an indoor/outdoor kennel for the day). For the rest of his life he would never go to the bathroom in his outdoor kennel, the little guy could hold it for hours.
When I first meet Stacia, I had puppy Briar with me and she said it helped break the ice. Who doesn’t love a cute little black and tan!!!! When people would come over he was always a hit. He was just right, wanting to play but never being over the top in your face. He would also carry this through his entire life. People would always say how well behaved and low key he was.
Now this is not to say that everything was perfect, he was still a puppy and full of energy. A few things got chewed on and he did love to chase deer from time to time. At one point, my dad and I were out bird hunting in the Chequamegon National Forest and he took off. I think he flushed a grouse and took off after it. His bells went silent and his e-collar was out of range. We both panicked, as the forest is huge and there is no way he could find his way home. Lucky for us, he loved, I mean LOVED, the sound of a gun going off. Dad and I both shot into the air and a min or two later. A very happy and tired Briar came busting through the under brush.
When Briar was two we moved to Duluth and a house up on the hill. He adapted to life in town and then Stacia moved into the house and he adapted again. One of the things I always felt bad about what Briar always lived in a house under construction. But in true Briar fashion, he made the best of it.
The saving grace about moving to Duluth and the area that we living in town, was the amazing trails close to home. He love running, hiking, biking with us. From mt bike trails, to the SHT, to ski trails (when they were not groomed), to hiking rivers and streams. He just love to be outside and sniffing everything in his path. He had hours and hours of energy.
When Stacia and I traveled so did Briar. He loved to ride in the car, either in the front seat or his kennel. He always wanted to stick his little nose out the window and drink in all the greatness flowing by.
When Briar was six we made the decision to get another dog. When we brought Atz home, Briar hid. Literately in a pile of leafs out in the yard. He was kind of freaked out but he had been around my parents puppies before so I don’t think it really registered that Atz was going to be with us forever.
The same year we made the decision to move out of town and somewhere with more land to explore. After an exhaustive house hunting summer we picked an old farm with 40 acres, the house was in a horrible state but the land was just what we were looking for. In the fall of 2013 we made the move and never looked back. The first winter out at the farm was tough, an epic snow year, a un-insulated house and poor heating system all resulted in a heavy learning curve. Briar was a rock, always just hanging out, never demanding and you could tell that he really enjoyed his new space to explore.
That first winter Atz was still smaller or, by the end of winter, the same size. Atz would not break trail through the snow so Briar was always in the lead with a crazy puppy as his shadow. That was the way it was for the rest of his life, he always had a shadow, even when Atz grew to 80 lbs.
He did find out that he could run quicker and turn better than the ever growing Atz…
Over time they became best friends and went everywhere together. Truly a special bond between the two setters.
always sharing a stick
The years passed and the memories grew and grew. When Briar turned ten he had a normal vet apt and I never even thought twice about it. But at the apt. our vet was listening to his heart and she looked concerned. She said that one of his left valves had a murmur to it and that on a scale from 1-4 it was already at a 2. I was shocked, blown away. Already tears formed and I choked back emotions. She said that it was time to get a game plan to manage his heart murmur. We scheduled an appt in the Twin Cites and had an EKG on his heart. Once they got a good look at his valves they increased the severity of his murmur to a 3/4. The Vet in the cities gave us three options: 1. do nothing and risk him having a heart attack, 2. start him on meds to control the heart and fluid in his lungs or 3. put him down. When she said that, I might have lost my cool and told her that wasn’t an F-ing option. We decided on the med route and he started on three different meds to get everything under control.
The Vet also said that he should not run or play hard as it could hurt his heart. I have always wanted the best quality of life I can offer my dogs and this was not part of it. Stacia and I made the decision that we were going to let him run and play as we always have. If that meant he had a heart attack, then that was the way he would go out. To limit him to a leash and not to play with Atz would have killed him just as quick. The vet warned us that the murmur might be too far along and the meds might only keep him around for a couple more months. It was a huge wake up call, I was an optimistic about Briar. Thought he would out live me. Tried to never think about his death and not having him around. This was the first time that idea was broken down to reality. He wouldn’t live forever, I would have to let him go. To say I was in shock would be an understatement.
Well, the meds worked and he had an amazing two more years with us. We had one scare but it turned out to be something he ate outside, silly dog. He got so many pets, treats, long runs, and amazing time outside. It proved that we made the right choice to give him meds. Now, don’t get me wrong giving him three meds twice a day was never easy. He was never food driven so we really had to work to get him to take all his meds. He had a nack of pick them out of any food. He also slowed down with age, as any dog would but I don’t think his heart was bothering him.
During the start of last winter we noticed that he was really slowing down. Sleeping most of the day and not running or playing much. Then after the first of the year he started coughing at night. It started out as just a random cough and didn’t seem to bother him but as time when on it increased and he struggled to stop. We made the decision to take him into the vet and see what was going on. The vet said that the fluid in his lungs was getting worse. We increased his meds but she stated the it was time to prepare for the end. It was one of the hardest things I had ever heard, he was sitting there looking at me with his soft compassionate eyes. All I could do was hug him and try not to break down.
For the next week he seemed to get better and the coughing when back to just random little coughs. He got even more treats, hugs and time in front of the fire. On January 13, 2019, we had a event in town and he was doing good enough for us to leave him and Atz home and go into town. We got back and he was sleeping in front of the fire like always. He didn’t get up but in his old age we think his hearing was going and many times didn’t hear us come home. He lifted his head when I petted him. As we got the kids to bed, he coughing started and I could tell he wasn’t doing well. We tried to get him to drink and eat something. Even got him a snowball (one of his favorite things to eat). He did eat some of the snowball and drank some water. I wanted to be close to him so tried to sleep on the couch near the him. He had one coughing fit at midnight and I thought about taking him in but as I got dressed he stopped and went back to sleep.
Then around 3 am, he started coughing again and he couldn’t get up. I made the call that it was time. I got up and grabbed a blanket he always like. Got the car started and Stacia come down. I gave her time with him. We have 24 hour ER vet in Duluth and we had called earlier and they said to just bring him in. Stacia could go with because we couldn’t leave the kids and for sure didn’t want to bring them with. I carried him to the car and put him in the front seat. He wanted to look out the window so bad but didn’t have the strength. It killed me to see him like this. We made the trip into town and had a great talk about how much I loved him. How much he helped me. How much I wish I could do more. How he was such a major part of my life. I held his paw and petted his head the entire way. His fur was always so soft, he paws so little. He felt even smaller on that drive in, a way that I never saw him.
At 4 am on Jan 14, 2019, on a cold hard floor I held him. I cried on him, my tears falling on his black and tan fur. I tried to insulted him from the sterile cold room that he didn’t deserve to be in. I held his head and whispered in his ears how much I loved him, how much he did for me, thanked him for saving me from myself, told him I’m sorry and watched him close his eyes peacefully for the last time…
I couldn’t move, numb, uncontrollably crying. Hoping this was all a nightmare but knowing the pain was too real. They gave me time with him. I wrapped him in his blanket and carried him back out to the car. I called Stacia and told her that he was at peace, resting. It was the slowest drive home, it was his last time in a car and I never wanted it to end. I talked to him and promised to give him the best spot I could, for the rest of his days. Once home we brought him in and sat him on a couch downstairs, wrapped him in more blankets. As it was still dark and Jan in northern MN we had to plan to dig his grave. As the sun came up I called my parents and let them know what happened. They have always been a major part of his life and I asked them to come up to help with the kids and see him.
For the next few hours Stacia and I told stories of him, sat with him, cried together and tried to explain why we were sad to two and half year olds. Once my parents got there the stories continued and so did the tears. Stacia and I had picked out a spot a week or two ago, it was in the woods under a grove of pine trees. Briar always love to sniff and explore beneath pine trees. As we both hoped he would be with us till spring we hadn’t dug his resting spot. The snow was easy to clear but the rock hard frozen soil took sometime. It was therapeutic for me, to hammer away at the ground with a giant pry bar. Stacia would clear the chucks of frozen ground. The tears mixed with sweat and we broke through the frozen ground. At about three feet we hit bedrock and cleaned the area up. The woods seamed quiet that day. As Mother Nature knew that she accepting a great dog back into her grasp.
We had lunch, shared more memories, laughed, cried, sat in silence. My parents went and talked to Briar. Everyone always loved having a conversation with him, he is a great listener. Then it was time to lay him to rest. His body seamed so small, even wrapped in his big blanket. Setting him on the cold bedrock was so hard but nowhere near as hard as it was to put dirt on top of him. He did it as gently as we could. We piled rocks on top of the exposed dirt and wrapped pine garland around his grave. We sat in the snow, under the pines, listening to the wind and silence mix.
Almost every night we go out and talk with him. Light a candle to let him know we still think of him, care about him, hope he is resting and that we love him. I will build a bench and carve a marker post for him. He will always be with us. I will never say goodbye to him. I’m sure he will get sick of me telling him about all the good and bad things that happen in life. Mother Nature has him now, I’m jealous but also feel good at the place he is at. Most of the tears have turned to good memories but I don’t think they will ever stop.
He was the best dog I have ever been around. He honestly save me, helped me enjoy life, brought me so many smile. As my dad told me, “all things that should die never do, all the things that should live forever are gone to soon”. Briar was physically with me for almost 13 years and he will always mentally be with me. I will tell the boys storied of how great he was. This was the hardest thing I have ever done but it also shows me how great dogs are and I cant live without them. There will be many more dogs in my life and they will all be held to the Briar standard. I love you Briar, Always will.
Pig Farm Road 